Navigating storms in your marriage
What do we do when problems show up in our marriages? You may be one of the few perfect people who never have arguments disagreements disputes or conflict in your marriage. You might very well be the one percent. But for the rest of us, the 99%, who's marriages are not perfect. from time to time we are presented with challenges that can only be described as storms in our marriages. For some these storms can be like a mild tropical depression with winds up to about 50 or 60 miles per hour. And for others these storms can be category 5 hurricanes that destroy everything in their paths.
But when these storms show up how are we as believers in Christ expected to respond? It is not an easy thing to watch the person you love the most in this world walk out of your life. It is a difficult path to restore bonds after trust has been broken. Those moments when you realize that you spent more than half of your life loving someone building a life with this person only to find that everything that you have worked for and built is in jeopardy. Make no mistake storms are meant to be difficult. Storms are meant challenge the strength of structures and shake up environments. When a building is not built to a certain standard and according to a building code even a small storm can easily wipe away the building.
Storms are coming
storms will arise in your marriages. There are a couple of things that we believers can do in those moments. This and the remaining words that will follow will assist in providing a biblical framework for addressing storms in your marriage. The very first thing to do for a storm is accept that they will come. Storms will come. No marriage is perfect no matter how much you love each other you are still two broken people and the enemy would not allow a marriage that reflects God's image to go unchallenged.
Understanding that storms are coming requires that one puts measures in place in the beginning of your marriage. Being the son of a contractor one of the most surprising things I've learned is that the strength of the building begins with the foundation. The foundation not only carries the weight but it is also built and designed to support that weight during the high winds and floods when storms come.
In the Christian marriage the foundation is God's word. A biblical marriage is based entirely and unequivocally upon the word of God. We cannot enter into a spiritual covenant with God using worldly values, worldly concepts and unbiblical understanding of what marriage is. Build your marriage upon what God say marriage is. Get your expectations for marriage from Gods word not the culture.
Structure your marriage for the storm
In my country the government has established what is called a building code. That building code outlines exactly how each and every home or commercial building is to be constructed. When the code is followed the probability of those buildings with standing severe storms is exponentially higher than those without. The building code will ensure that roofs are properly strapped to buildings and buildings are properly fastened to foundations. The building code will protect a home for more than just storms and will have preventive measures to guard against fire, water and Long list of other damages. In the same way a marriage must be structed Gods way.
When God created marriage he gave it everything he intended marriage to be. Marriage was not created incomplete and does not require man to improve upon it. The institution of marriage calls men and women to function in specific capacities. God has established clear roles for the husband and the wife and he has called each to function within the roles he has given.